Clinical Reference Systems: Pediatric Advisor 10.0
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Toilet Training Basics
DESCRIPTION
Your child is toilet trained when, without any reminders,
your child walks to the potty, undresses, urinates or has a
bowel movement, and pulls up his pants. Some children will
learn to control their bladders first; others will start
with bowel control. Both kinds of control can be worked on
simultaneously. Bladder control through the night normally
happens several years later than daytime control. The
gradual type of toilet training discussed here can usually
be completed in 2 weeks to 2 months.
TOILET TRAINING READINESS
Don't begin training until your child is clearly ready.
Readiness doesn't just happen; it involves concepts and
skills you can begin teaching your child at 12 months of
age. Reading some of the special toilet learning books to
your child can help. Most children can be made ready for
toilet training by 24 months of age, many by 18 months. By
the time your child is 3 years old, she will probably have
trained herself. The following signs indicate that your
child is ready:
- Your child understands what "pee," "poop," "dry," "wet,"
"clean," "messy," and "potty" mean. (Teach him these
words.)
- Your child understands what the potty is for. (Teach
this by having your child watch parents, older siblings,
and children near his age use the toilet correctly.)
- Your child prefers dry, clean diapers. (Change your
child frequently to encourage this preference.)
- Your child likes to be changed. (As soon as she is able
to walk, teach her to come to you immediately whenever
she is wet or dirty. Praise her for coming to you for a
change.)
- Your child understands the connection between dry pants
and using the potty.
- Your child can recognize the feeling of a full bladder
and the urge to have a bowel movement; that is, he paces,
jumps up and down, holds his genitals, pulls at his
pants, squats down, or tells you. (Help him understand
what these signals mean: "The poop (or pee) wants to
come out. It needs your help." Try to teach your child
to come to you at these times.
- Your child has the ability to briefly postpone urinating
or having a bowel movement. She may go off by herself
and come back wet or soiled, or she may wake up from naps
dry.
METHOD FOR TOILET TRAINING
The way to train your child is to offer encouragement and
praise, be patient, and make the process fun. Avoid any
pressure or punishment. Your child must feel in control of
the process.
- Buy supplies:
- Potty chair (floor-level type). If his feet can
reach the floor while he sits on the potty, your
child has leverage for pushing and a sense of
security. He also can get on and off whenever he
wants to.
- Favorite treats (such as fruit slices, crackers, and
cookies) for rewards.
- Stickers or stars for rewards.
- Make the potty chair one of your child's favorite
possessions.
Several weeks before you plan on beginning toilet
training, take your child with you to buy a potty chair.
Make it clear that this is your child's own special
chair. Have your child help you put her name on it.
Allow your child to decorate it or even paint it a
different color. Then have your child sit on it fully
clothed until she is comfortable with using it as a
chair. Have your child use it while watching TV, eating
snacks, playing games, or looking at books. Keep it in
the room in which your child usually plays. Only after
your child clearly has good feelings toward the potty
chair (after at least 1 week), proceed to actual toilet
training.
- Encourage practice runs on the potty.
Do a practice run whenever your child gives a signal
that looks promising, such as a certain facial
expression, grunting, holding the genital area, pulling
at his pants, pacing, squatting, squirming, or passing
gas. Other good times are after naps or 20 minutes
after meals. Say encouragingly, "The poop (or pee)
wants to come out. Let's use the potty." Encourage
your child to walk to the potty and sit there with his
diapers or pants off. Your child can then be told, "Try
to go pee-pee in the potty." If your child is reluctant
to cooperate, he can be encouraged to sit on the potty
by doing something fun; for example, you might read a
story.
If your child wants to get up after 1 minute of
encouragement, let him get up. Never force your child
to sit there. Never physically hold your child there or
strap him in. Even if your child seems to be enjoying
it, end each session after 5 minutes unless something is
happening.
- Praise or reward your child for cooperation or any
success.
All cooperation with these practice sessions should be
praised. For example, you might say, "You are sitting
on the potty just like Mommy," or "You're trying real
hard to put the pee-pee in the potty."
If your child urinates into the potty, she can be
rewarded with treats or stickers, as well as praise and
hugs. While a sense of accomplishment is enough for
some children, others need treats to stay focused. Big
rewards (like going to the ice cream store) should be
reserved for when your child walks over to the potty on
her own and uses it or asks to go there with you and
then uses it.
Once your child uses the potty by herself two or more
times, you can stop the practice runs. For the
following week, continue to praise your child frequently
for dryness and using the potty. (Note: Practice runs
and reminders should not be necessary for more than 1 or
2 months.)
- Change your child after accidents.
Change your child as soon as it's convenient, but
respond sympathetically. Say something like, "You
wanted to go pee-pee in the potty, but you went pee-pee
in your pants. I know that makes you sad. You like to
be dry. You'll get better at this." If you feel a need
to be critical, keep it to mild verbal disapproval and
use it rarely (for example, "Big boys don't go pee-pee
in their pants," or mention the name of another child
whom he likes and who is trained); then change your
child into a dry diaper or training pants in as pleasant
and nonangry a way as possible. Avoid physical
punishment, yelling, or scolding. Pressure or force can
make a 2-year-old child completely uncooperative. Do
not keep your child in wet or messy pants for
punishment.
- Introduce training pants after your child starts using
the potty.
Switch from diapers to training pants after your child
is cooperative about sitting on the potty chair and
passes about half of her urine and bowel movements
there. She definitely needs training pants if she comes
to you to help her take off her diaper so she can use
the potty. Take your child with you to buy the
underwear and make it a reward for her success. Buy
loose-fitting ones that she can easily lower and pull up
by herself. Once you start using training pants, use
diapers only for naps and nighttime.
READ THE GUIDELINES ON TOILET TRAINING RESISTANCE IF:
- Your child won't sit on the potty or toilet.
- Your 2-year-old child is negative about toilet training.
- Your child holds back bowel movements.
- You begin to use force or punishment.
- Your child is over 3 years old and not daytime toilet
trained.
- The approach described here isn't working after 2 months.
RECOMMENDED READING
Joanna Cole, The Parents' Book of Toilet Teaching (New York:
Ballantine Books, 1983).
Vicki Lansky, Koko Bear's New Potty (New York: Bantam
Books, 1986).
Katie Van Pelt: Potty Training Your Baby (New York: Avery,
1996.)
Alison Mack, Toilet Learning (Boston: Little, Brown, 1983).
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