Clinical Reference Systems: Pediatric Advisor 10.0

Parents seldom maintain a normal lifestyle when their child is hospitalized. They sleep in chairs in their child's hospital room or on sofas in the waiting room. They clean up and change clothes in hospital restrooms. Under these circumstances, parents miss quality sleep and lose their appetites--both contributing to higher stress levels.

The following suggestions will help parents cope with the stress caused by having a seriously ill child, not caring for themselves, and dealing with other family members.

1. Maintain a routine.

   When a child is in the hospital, parents' routines are drastically changed. Try to return to your normal schedule. Although this can be difficult, parents who reestablish their normal routines usually report they feel better. Brothers and sisters also need to go on with their lives. They may want to and should be allowed to engage in normal recreational and school activities. These activities help children cope with the disruption in their lives. A few "hot laps" around a go-cart track, for example, can provide therapy for the children as well as the parents who accompany them.

   When a child is first hospitalized, many family members will gather at the hospital to discuss the child's condition. While these discussions may initially support the parents and child, after a short time the disruption to everyone's scheduled activities can cause stress. Members of the extended family should also return to their daily schedules as soon as practical.

2. Keep physically fit.

   Several studies suggest that physical exercise can substantially help prevent or reduce clinical depression. I frequently recommend that parents get some exercise by going on long brisk walks around the hospital. Exercise will also help parents who have trouble sleeping during their child's hospitalization. Exercise and a good night's sleep can improve the appetite. The combination of exercise, sleep, and eating will lower parents' stress levels.

3. Deal effectively with siblings.

   Rather than several lengthy discussions, parents should talk briefly and honestly with their other children during a child's hospitalization. How and when the siblings want to talk should be respected by the parents. Sometimes children may respond inappropriately to the hospitalization of a sibling, not understanding how difficult it is for parents to deal with the illness. They may want to say they are "glad he is sick." Parents need to decide if they will tolerate such behavior. If they don't, then they must set limits.

   Parents typically set aside discipline and limit-setting during a child's hospitalization. However, enforcing house rules will help restore normalcy for the healthy children and limit behavioral problems. Some parents allow their children to sleep with them because they don't feel like arguing with them. Once the habit is established, it is hard to break. Usually, it is better not to start this routine.

4. Give emotional support to parents under stress.

   When you are visiting with a family whose child is hospitalized, physical contact that's gentle and supportive is usually more comforting than words. Holding a parent's hand without saying a word can be more comforting then nervously babbling on.

Unfortunately, many families will face a child's hospitalization. If parents "normalize" their schedules as much as possible, get adequate physical exercise, spend "normal" time with their other children, and receive comfort and support from family and friends, the impact of the illness on the family can be minimized.