Clinical Reference Systems: Pediatric Advisor 10.0

Parents frequently have problems getting their children to follow instructions. Your child's compliance can improve if you follow the suggestions given below.

Giving Instructions or Commands

1. Make sure you have your child's attention when you give a direction. Say the child's name and ask that he look at you; for example, "Bob, look at me".

2. Give the child a simple, clear command, such as "Please shut the door."

3. Thank the child when he has complied by looking at you.

Things to Remember

1. Be realistic. Give your child instructions that you know she is physically and developmentally capable of following.

2. Be direct. Say things like "Joey, please put your shoes in the closet" or "Open the door." Avoid questions that imply choice when there really is no choice, such as "Won't you go to your room?" or "Don't you want to go downstairs?"

3. Give one instruction at a time, and allow your child 5 seconds to begin to obey. Do not repeat the same instruction a second time.

4. Avoid giving a second instruction while the child is working on the first one.

5. Avoid giving your child an instruction unless you are prepared to use time-out for not minding.

When Your Child Obeys

1. When your child begins to comply, praise and encourage him so that he will continue the desired behavior.

2. Thank the child immediately for following the direction by saying something like, "Thank you for putting your bear in the toy box, Joey."

3. Kids love hugs and pats, so be sure to touch your child as well as praise his behavior.

What to do if Your Child Does Not Begin to Obey Within 5 Seconds

1. Put your child in time-out immediately.

2. Do not interact with your child when she is in time-out.

3. After time-out, require your child to complete the requested task. This will give her a chance to get attention when she obeys and will teach her that you are serious when you give a command.