Clinical Reference Systems: Pediatric Advisor 10.0
Lying
DESCRIPTION
Children commonly lie to try to escape punishment. Hence
the saying, "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies."
These are called self-protective lies. During the first 5
or 6 years of life, children go through a normal phase of
trying to cover up by lying. They stop lying when they
learn it doesn't convince anyone.
THE RULE
"Don't lie. Tell me the truth."
DISCIPLINE TECHNIQUE
If your child lies, respond as follows:
- Punish your child based on the available evidence. For
example, if a dish is broken and your child has just been
in the kitchen, you don't need Sherlock Holmes. Don't
ask your child what happened when you already know what
he did. Children aren't good at confessing.
- For misbehavior without any evidence (e.g., you think
your child watched a TV show you told her not to),
overlook it. Trying to investigate it will just bring
you grief.
- When you confront your child about misbehavior and she
spontaneously denies she had anything to do with it, show
your disapproval. Tell her, "I really feel badly when
you lie to me and I hope you'll tell me the truth next
time." If she lies about her misbehavior, give her a
double time-out (i.e., 2 minutes per year of age instead
of 1 minute per year). Make it clear that her time-out
would be not be as long if she had not lied about her
behavior.
- Don't try to catch your child in a lie or make her
confess. These just lead to bigger and better lies.
PRAISE
Praise your child for telling the truth.
MODEL
Be truthful yourself and lie as little as possible
(including tactful lies).
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