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Clinical Reference Systems: Pediatric Advisor 10.0
New Mother: Friendships and Isolation
FRIENDSHIPS
Friends take time and energy--both of which is in short
supply after you become a parent. Most new parents find the
demands of parenting affect the number and intensity of
friendships they can sustain, especially during the baby's
first couple of years.
HINTS FOR DEALING WITH FRIENDS:
- Good friends--including those who do not have children
themselves--will support your decision to take good care
of yourself and will not place any demands on you when
you are learning how to manage being a new parent.
- Be sensitive to how much "baby talk" your friends want to
hear and don't overdose them.
- Don't ask for too much help with your baby from friends.
Those who have no children may not understand your needs.
- Set time limits on social occasions. Your baby may be up
and ready to eat at 6:00 AM the next morning!
- As usual, the best prescription is "If you want a friend,
be one"; whenever you have the time and energy, make sure
to listen to your friends and to be a friend to them.
- Never assume your baby is invited to a social occasion;
check first.
ISOLATION
After 3 months of taking care of a new baby, most new
mothers feel lonely and isolated.
If you are feeling isolated:
- Recognize that almost every mother has some feeling of
being trapped about this time and also wonders if the
rest of her life is going to be a routine of bottles,
dirty diapers, and lack of sleep.
- You may want to join a parenting support group; it helps
to share with other parents.
- It is important to find friends who also have small
children. Playgroups for babies are a good place to meet
other mothers.
- Your new baby will probably be a source of new interests:
your concern for proper infant stimulation and
development may prompt you to learn more about
developmental psychology and human development; you may
learn much more about music as you begin to expose your
new baby to the world of music.
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